Speed Demos Archive

Those of you who hang around in #qdq will know that this week we have added five new maps to the archive. Well, I say "new" maps but I think you'll find them strangely familiar. For some weeks now, people have been nagging, badgering, hectoring, mythering and cajoling Jesse Van Dijk to release a bunny-enabled version of his popular Runner's Delight custom episode. So off he went to talk to the technical guru and sure enough, one quick wave of Nolan's magic todger and Bunny's Delight was ready for release.

For those of you who don't know, Runner's Delight was a non-linear 5 level custom episode that Jesse first released in 1976, nearly twenty years before Quake was even invented. Back then, of course, people were very suspicious of the Satanic practise known as "jumping like the bunny" and so it had the infamous ABC (Anti-Bunny Code) included to ensure that people ran the levels in a clean and wholesome manner. These days everyone loves to bunny, so having the chance to play these levels in an unrestricted manner has caused a few excited ripples around the speedrunning world.

To submit a demo on these maps simply follow these few rules...

Get the full version of Runner's Delight from here. If you already have the full "no bunny" version then you just need to get this progs.dat and use it instead of the one you already have.
Get running! You can submit demos on any of the current RDE levels and also do marathon runs through the whole episode.
New records will be added to the bottom of the existing page under the heading Unrestricted Bunnies in a similar manner to a long way run.
Unrestricted bunny demos must be faster than the existing non-bunny record.
Name you demos exactly as you would do normally. I.e. rd1_xxx, rd2_xxx, rd3_xxx, rd4_xxx and rde_xxx.
You can still submit non-bunny RDE demos exactly as before.
If you have any other questions, please ask one of us.

And now, on with the rest of the update...

Arturo Garcia Lasca has decided that Weixing can't have everything his own way on sgodrun2 and has fought back with three very cool demos.

He improved OpenGL's Long Way Easy Run twice in the same day using some new route tweaks. First by two seconds to 1:28, and then by another three seconds to 1:25.
Then he did the same thing to the Nightmare Long Way Run, boosting and bouncing his way to an eight second improvement to 1:33. So Ken has shown the upstart that he can't have everything his own way, but when you consider how much Weixing has improved over the last few months it will be interesting to see who ends up on top. :-)

When it comes to giving demos the old double plus treatment there are no two finer exponents than The Hungarian Bunny Machine and The Russian Optimising Machine. As with all optimum runs, these are MUST DOWNLOAD simply for the reason that you would be a fool not to watch such fine examples of near perfect timing and play. And if you think that this praise is over the top, watch them and think again.

Valeriy Burmistrov has somehow managed to improve his maximum telefraggage on pg4 by one second to 0:08.
But for some people even an eight second demo is too long. Jozsef Szalontai has managed an even better barrel boost in his Easy Run of alpha001 which was enough to save him another second. 0:06.

Clocking in at the slightly longer time of 9:12 we have Me improving Matthias's Nightmare Run of mexx9d by sixty-six seconds. This demo, as poor as it is, is dedicated to the England Football team who start their World Cup campaign against Sweden this Sunday. I know a lot of Swedes visit this site and, as a member of the SDA staff, I will, of course, keep any comments about non speedrunning matters strictly neutral. Apart from a quick "You can stick your Ljungberg up your arse. EN-GER-LUND. Bring it on Sweden, we're ready for j00!"

Which brings us quite neatly to a couple of Swedes that we haven't seen for a while. Robert and Rickard Axelsson have made there return by stamping all over Stefan and Matthias's Easy 100% of doom2_04. The Axelsson Attack obviously still works because this four second faster 0:33 is really rather nice.

Before I go I would just like to repeat something for the 450th time. When you're sending in your demos for the Bunny Comparison page, please make our life easier by sending them to Stubby only. Even if you're a Swede, that's no excuse. It isn't difficult. :-P So head on over to the Bunny Comparison page and watch the eleven new demos. Including an insane demo which takes over the first place spot on E1M6!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

After being down for most of the weekend due to technical difficulties on the GameSpy Network we appear to be back up and running. I have been assured that the problems with their shitty advertising code have been fixed, so please let me know if you are still getting any problems. (NOTE: I will be very disappointed if I don't get at least a dozen mails following this update hilariously saying "I can't see the site at the moment...")

Our first demos today are the sixth and seventh consecutive improvements to the Easy 100% of empire by Jonny Andersson. He started out by running his usual route two seconds faster than his previous best, taking the time down to 2:30. Then he did something that none of us thought Pretty Balls could do. He thought about it. This led to a big route change and a saving of another six seconds down to 2:24.

Three very nice improvements to sgodrun2 records from Weixing Ye, who looks like he's soon going to become the new HFR bunny guru.

He improved Ken's Long Way Easy Run by six seconds using the three tricks that I always hoped I'd see someone do on this run: Trigger the rune at the start; GJ up to the SNG trigger; quad GJ down the long lava room. 1:30. This demo gives him total ownage of every SP record possible on this map.
He also improved his Nightmare Long Way Run by loads of seconds using the same route (except, obviously, for the quad boost) to 1:41.
Then he replaced his rubbishy Easy 100% with this much better 3:27. 146 seconds faster.

One demo only this week from Jozsef Szalontai, but it's up to his normal standard. He improved Ilkka's Easy 100% of his own (Illqwa's not Jozz's) map, mcomplex, by eleven seconds to 1:39.

Finally, I made two bitch-kicking Nightmare 100% improvements.

First, I picked a map at randon from the least popular maps list. It happened to be mcm01. This turned out to be quite a cool map and I wondered why it was unpopular. Then I tried it at "run speed" and I realised that the middle room is an absolute whore. 2:49, twenty-seven seconds faster than Stefan.
Then I tried the longest record I could find, Matthias's mexx9d epic. A little aggressive play netted me a one hundred and ninety second improvement down to 11:24.

I'll finish with a little gentle reminder (and a dire warning) to you all. When sending in your Bunny Comparison demos, no matter how good they are, please send them to Stubby only. Repeated failure to do so will result in you catching the rough edge of his tongue, and as one poor unfortunate[1] this week can tell you, it's not a pleasant experience. :-)

Enjoy the demos, Biatches!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] I won't say who, but in the style of a Daily Telegraph crossword clue. Scottish understanding a thousand in French (3).

Once again a big handful of bunny demos has ravaged my inbox....

Demos on 100m:

Robert Axelsson - 10.90 (this one includes the strangest bunnies I've ever seen!)
David Hocking - 11.35
Tore Nyholm - 11.82

Demos on 110m:

Robert Axelsson - 13.32

Demos on e1m1:

David Hocking - 24.99

Demos on e1m6:

Tore Nyholm - 10.54

Demos on e2m1:

Timo Nieminen - 7.98 (Timo is now one of the 'Filthy Few' :)
Tore Nyholm - 8.80
Keith Fancher - 9.06
Jesse van Dijk - 9.26

Some time ago Fabian sent me some video clips from SpeedCon 2000 and SpeedCon 2001, for me to upload. It was Will's job to do an update about them, but since he forgot all about it, I guess I'll do it instead :)

sc2000 will_flop_1.mpg. This won't come as no surprise....
sc2000 will_flop_2.mpg. Neither will this....
sc2001 alex_guitar_short.mpg. Aleksander pretending to be James Hedfield, but fails miserably :)
sc2001 chess_ownage.mpg. CHECKMATE IN 3 DRAWS!!!
sc2001 comments.mpg. I have no clue what this is all about, ask the people involved instead :)
sc2001 ilkka_piano.mpg. Ilkka showing off his true skillz!
sc2001 marlo_owning_ilkka.mpg. Go-cart madness!
sc2001 puked_couch_talk.mpg. Will is at it again!
sc2001 rob_flop.mpg. Don't ask, coz I don't know....

Enjoy!

I'd like to start off by asking if you've all watched my demos on the Bunny Comparison page? No? Not suprising really since I can't get under most of the qualifying times. :-) But I'm now within a few tenths of a couple of them so unless you want to be official labelled "Worse Than Morfy" you'd better get your arse[1] on the tables pronto.

It's good to see that Anders Nordensten is back in the demo making groove. This week he has taken on the records on disgrace, a map formerly owned by Big Danny Lindberg.

The Easy Run.... he hasn't tried yet.
The Easy 100% saw two improvements.
- First he gave a little one second tickle to Daniel's record to give him a 0:48.
- But he didn't think that was good enough, and a couple of days later he got this 0:47.
The Nightmare Run gave him his biggest improvement over a Lindbo record. He threw out all caution and took eleven seconds off the time, getting 0:48. Impressive.
But the best of all (in my ever-so-humble opinion) was his one second improvement of the Nightmare 100%. The huge amount of red armour in this level allowed him to go rocket crazy in this 1:02.
He also proved he has some top class bunny skillz by doing a 0:33 of sgodrun2. Shame OpenGL already did it last week. :-)

Speaking of top class bunny skillz, Jonny "Da BomB" Andersson has shaken his pert buttocks over his Easy 100% of empire which gave him a 2:32, three seconds faster than the non-buttocked version.

And still keeping on the subject of top class bunny skillz for our final demo of the day we have Me filling the gap for the Nightmare 100% Marathon of daz in the scorching time of 5:34. To be honest, this has nothing to do with bunny skillz, top class or otherwise. I was just sat there on Sunday night waiting for a MadCoop to start but people were faffing about so I recorded this to pass the time. To be absolutely frank with you it isn't really very good. :-)

It's now been three months since we closed the doors on The Nolans 2001 so I think it's time to have a look at the feedback that people gave. It seems to be have been overwhelmingly positive with some very constructive suggestions and so I guess we'll be doing it again. It looks like the custom demos will be split into more categories and a couple of other categories will be removed from the next year's big vote. Bizarrely enough, though, two people voted "Was this worth doing : No" and "Shall we do it again next year : Yes"!

Go figure. :-)

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] I do, of course mean your demos and not your arse. That was just a little poetic license. Under no circumstances should you send body parts to Stubbz as he will only eat them.

I'm amazed! I've received no less than 21 demos for the new Bunny Comparison page! But things aren't just all good, a problem, or shall we say "conflict", occured when Jonny sent in an e1m1 demo that was actually faster than the SDA record!! The problem is of course that we've been trying to keep the times from the upcoming QdQ production, tRR (Rabbit Run - The Movie), a secret, and until now we've succeeded fairly well in doing just that. But seeing as Jonny's demo isn't part of any QdQ project, it would be unfair not to post it on the Bunny Comparison page. This doesn't mean that Jonny will have the e1m1 Easy Run record on SDA, a few people has done 0:22 before him and even 0:21, BUT these demos won't be available for download until the project is released, but the times will be available on the Bunny Comparison page, as well as Jonny's 0:22 demo. I guess it's about time we remove Markus' e1m1_023 from the unbeatable list :)

Well, seeing as this new page is so successful, I think it will be appropiate to list the new times here on the main page....

Demos on 100m:

Timo Nieminen - 10.66
Dan Stukanev - 11.25
Mads-Peter Stubgaard - 11.55

Demos on e1m1:

Peter Horvath - 21.86 !!!!!
Jonny Andersson - 22.44
Markus Taipale - 22.96
Jozsef Szalontai - 22.97
Martin Selinus - 23.32
Daniel Hansson - 23.92
Attila Csernyik - 23.96
Tore Nyholm - 25.19
Mads-Peter Stubgaard 25.94

Demos on e1m6:

Attila Csernyik - 9.81
Martin Selinus - 9.85
Timo Nieminen - 9.94
Jonny Andersson - 10.26
Thomas Stubgaard - 10.56

Demos on e2m1:

Markus Taipale - 7.86
Fabian Kollakowski - 7.94
Jozsef Szalontai - 7.95
Attila Csernyik - 7.97
Martin Selinus - 7.98
Timo Nieminen - 8.09
Jonny Andersson - 8.12
Tim Doherty - 9.28

Other news:

There's some stuff happening at the player profiles as well: Denis 'Yoda' Nazarov has filled out a profile which you can check here. Anders Nordensten has updated his picture to reveal his true self.... have a look. And finally Aleksander Osipov has re-newed his profile which you can read here. Check out the picture too! That's hardcore Quake jumping....

Just a quick update to remind everybody that I'm still alive and doing well...and also to let Richard have a little breather from the massive amount of demo updates he has done recently.

Weixing Ye put his greasy hands all over sgodrun2.

Easy run in 0:33, 1 second faster than Arturo.
Nightmare Run in 0:33, 1 second faster than Arturo.
Nightmare Run (the long way) in 2:35, new to the tables.
Easy 100% in 5:53, new to the tables.
Nightmare 100% in 4:33, 66 seconds faster than Richard.

The next set of demos is on the massive fmb8.

Anders Nordensten was the first to try the Easy 100%, which he did in 5:35.
But soon after Hannu Kankaanpaa improved it to 4:56.
Richard filled the tables and did the Nightmare 100% in 10:44.

The war continues on spd.

Arturo fought back and took the Easy 100% from Hannu by 1 second to get 0:41.
But Hannu made up for the lost record by doing the Nightmare 100% in 1:07.

Jozsef Szalontai has gone bunny mad on The Nameless City.

He improved his Nightmare Run by one more second to get 0:42. MUST DOWNLOAD

And finally two coops to finish off all the demos with.

Drew Van Lanen, Josh Zayas, Gaylord (!!) and Jakob Huddgins did the Easy 100% of bbelief1 in 0:40.
Daniel Hansson, Me, Jesse, Richard and Will did the Easy 100% of The Elder World in 9:01.

If you encounter any errors with this update, please don't hesitate to inform us about it. The tables on SDA are down for some weird reason, and that means I can't check if the tables are linked correctly. You should be able to download all the demos even though the tables are down, if not, then you can always download the big .dz, but hopefully everything should be in order.

Also, It would be nice if people would stop bugging us for updates, we're doing this for our own enjoyment too, it's not like we're getting paid for it, so please have some patience. This is hard work, and not something you just piece together in 10 minutes. Actually we're doing updates far more frequently than back in the old days when you didn't see an update for ages :)

And let's clear out another thing: The demos you see in topic in our IRC channel, is only demos done on NEW maps, and NOT all the demos we've received in our inbox. So please stop asking stupid questions about why there aren't any more demos than those we show in topic...I hope that made sense :)

Final news of the evening is that Nolan has fixed a few more bugs and released version 2.81 of Dzip

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

These last few days has seen a bit of a rumpus, a kerfuffle, a pagga, a duel, a joust, a skuffle, a rough-house, a head to head, or even, if you'll indulge me a little further, a clash between two speedrunning gladiators over the Easy 100% of spd between the reigning champion Arturo Garcia Lasca and challenger Hannu Kankaanp��.

Hannu started off by improving Ken's run by two seconds to 0:47 with some added telefrag madness.
Then Stubbz updated the tables but I didn't do an update, so Ken downloaded the demo, said "ahhhh, that's how you do the second shamblefrag" and used the new tricks to take another three seconds off the time, getting a 0:44.
Losing the record before it had even been posted in an update did not please Hannu one little bit. In a fit of anger and screaming for revenge he managed to produce this outstanding 0:42. This looks like it'll take some beating.

So, that's both runs optimised and the Easy 100% close to optimised. Who now has the balls to tackle the Nightmare 100%?

Speaking of balls, Amrik Kochhar has done two nice marathons on the daz maps.

First he improved his Easy Run by three more seconds. 1:43.
Then he filled the Easy 100% gap with this 3:55. See if you can spot the slightly less than flawless play around the gold key in the second map. :-)

This week has seen a good amount of Mad Coop action. These demos come to you courtesy of #qdq by Thomas Stubgaard, Thomas Bergendorff, Will Marsh, Jesse van Dijk and Myself.

Me, Stubbz and Will made three arse kicking demos.
- We improved our Easy 100% marathon of The Realm of Black Magic by thirty-two seconds to 8:08. That's twenty-seven seconds faster than the EH4 and would have been under the eight minute mark if we hadn't have had a little disaster in e2m4.
- We then tried a whole load of different routes on The Palace of Hate before we got this 1:11, twenty-three seconds faster than the EH2.
- Actually, that's only two demos. Oh well, I don't suppose anyone will notice.
Bergie hosted a couple of sessions with Me and Stubbz.
- We had some excellent axe based fun doing the Easy 100% in The Haunted Halls, beating the EH2 by eight seconds to get 1:03.
- And in contrast we had a totally shit time doing the Easy 100% in the Chambers of Torment. I have never before found myself hating doing a coop, and we were all incredibly relieved when we got this 1:23. If anyone wants to beat this record you're totally welcome to it.
Lodis also hosted a mammoth four player Easy 100% of The Whole of Quake with Jesse, Will and Thomas. The play was as mad as expected and they managed to kill Shub in 50:19, less than four minutes faster than the SP time but still quite an achievement. NOTE: This huge demo is not in the "All demos download" at the end of the update. It's just too damned big. But if anyone want's to sit through three and a half hours of unplanned running then go for it. I did. I watched the whole thing in slow motion, in fact, just to check for cheating. :-)

Since Nolan "ph34r my mighty degree" Pflug is too modest (or idle;-)) to mention it himself, for those of you that don't already know there's a new, improved version of Dzip available for download. Go get it now and spend the rest of the weekend looking for bugs.

And finally, if it's not already too late, head over to Acid's Joint where upstart site PlanetDeusEx is up against our hosting site PlanetQuake in their latest poll. Now, PlanetQuake's advertising has now gone to such ridiculous extremes that I dread tuning in to read the news, but they still host the mighty Archive and are a nice bunch, so go vote!

I am now so tired that I have been officially classified as dead. The only thing that's keeping me going is the prospect of more Mad Coops. Don't let me die, people...

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Time for another round up of the latest comings and goings on the new maps. Or, in fact, on one of the new maps.

The battle for the records on civil has been fierce over the last couple of days. Who came out on top? Read on and you shall discover...

The Easy Run saw two cool improvements.
- Amrik Kochhar earned himself the prize for "best looking curly jump back from the key" on his way to getting this 0:41, two seconds faster than Hannu.
- Then Daniel Hansson tackled the deathknight switch in a different way and boosted himself to 0:40.
The Nightmare Run was an even bigger ruck.
- Amrik opened the batting by equaling what was at the time the Easy Run record of 0:43. Honourable mention to Dan Stukanev who's 0:43 arrived soon afterwards.
- Then Arturo Garcia Lasca entered the fray with this 0:42.
- But Daniel wasn't in the mood to fuck about and stormed in with a 0:40, using the same boost as his Easy Run.
The Easy 100% saw Daniel rip the face off of Amrik's table filler, first with a 1:37, fifteen seconds faster, and then with a 1:35.
And to give himself Total Ownage[tm] of the map he ripped into Hannu's Nightmare 100% and improved it by three seconds to 1:38. He says he's also done a 1:35, he even went so far as to dzip a completely different demo and try to pass it off as a civ_135 NH. Take a word of advice, Hansson, don't try fucking with the Ess Dee Ay or you'll find out what fucking is all about. You want to try it on with your false demos you just come right ahead, but we'll break you, muthafukka. Break you like a bitch.

Of course, it could also have been a genuine mistake, in which case please resend the demo. :-)

Daniel also did one non civil demo. He improved Justin's Nightmare Run of ikspq2 by nine fat seconds to get 1:32. Be sure to watch this one. This carnage is what Nightmare Runs are all about.

To finish things off we have a cool Nightmare 100% Marathon on the ridiculously long and complex zerstorrer levels. It seems that Nolan had a little spare time on his hands so he indulged his masochistic streak and recorded this 26:33.

If you go looking for me on ICQ or IRC today (for whatever sordid reason) you'll probably be out of luck. Today I'm spending a huge amount of money taking my wife up to London to see a bunch of adults dressed up as cats jump around a stage singing songs about other cats.

No, really, I am.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

You want demos on the new maps? We've got demos on the new maps. You want Id records? We've got Id records. You want marathons? We've got marathons. You want coops? We've got Mad Coops[tm]. We've got all this and much more. SDA: It's like walking into a Quake shopping mall where everything's free and the chicks serving you are all topless.[1]

We'll start with the Id improvement. Jozsef Szalontai has improved his Nightmare Run of The Nameless City by not not using the two fiend boosts from his previous demo. Not quite sure how that saved a second, but the shambler appeared in record time so that probably helped. 0:43. Must Download.

As expected, there's been a flood of demos on the new maps. Well, on the shorter maps anyway. The hugely long fmb8 has only had one demo submitted, although I know that several people were trying for it. It is, of course, the Easy Run (using the "it could only be there for a speed run" 100h/teleport shortcut) by Hannu Kankaanp�� in the faster-than-expected time of 1:04.

Plenty of action on spd.

The Easy Run was soon optimised(??) to 0:09 using the og+gj up to the teleport by David Hocking. This was actually the second 0:09 we received but the first one, by Denn, was recorded using sonsQuake instead of the regular Id .exe. Let me just say once again, please don't use custom ports of Quake to record your SDA demos on as we cannot accept then, no matter how small or harmless the changes to the source.
The Nightmare Run was a longer battle.
- Fern got things started with this 0:13.
- Which he soon improved to 0:12.
- Then Joe stalked in with a 0:10.
- Which he eventually managed to reduce to the optimum 0:09 using the same route as the Easy Run.
Then filling the gap for the Easy 100% we have Arturo Garcia Lasca who did a very frantic looking 0:49

Many a spiked fist was thrown on my favourite (only because of the sheer audacity of making a very obvious cut, paste and stretch of several Id maps and then not even mentioning it in the .txt) new map, civil.

Daniel Andersson was very quick to send in an Easy Run in the respectable time of 0:51.
But Hannu is not in the mood to take prisoners at the moment and came screaming in first with this 0:45 (cheeky little grenade jump back up from the key), and then this 0:43.
Amrik Kochhar returned from his missionary work spreading Satanism to the peaceful Indian tribes of the Amazon Basin in time to record this 1:52 Easy 100% table filler.
But it looks a little poor next to Hannu's 1:41 Nightmare 100%. :-)

Still plenty of scope for improvement and loads of gaps to fill so keep 'em coming.

Both runs on empire have come under assault from "Da Runna from Down Unna", SnooP.

First to fall was Arturo's Easy Run. This is a pretty straight run so some good bunnies were required to get this 0:20 one second improvement.
The same is true of the Nightmare Run, except the shambler lightning boost at the end makes getting 0:20 slightly easier. One second faster than Martin.

Up and coming Chinese running sensation Weixing Ye managed to record three outstanding runs before going off on holiday.

He owned Amrik's Nightmare 100% of zippie_sda by sixteen seconds with this all-new route and some slick play. 0:35.
And he still hasn't finished with fc_coag.
- He improved his Easy 100% by another two seconds to 0:56.
- And his Nightmare Run by another three seconds to 0:44.

Time for a little bit more Jozsef action, this time in an awesome Easy Run Marathon of jzblue. The Blue Bunny Machine beat Sergi by two blue seconds to get this very blue 0:41.

To finish up we have the first in what look like a long line of Mad Coops[tm]. This started one night in #qdq when Stubbz and myself decided to have a coop and I very foolishly gave him my IP address on the channel. So just as we were nearing the end of a god-like run, who should decide to join the game (and thus ruin the demo) but Big Willy Marsh. The rest, as they say, is history.

We did the Easy 100% (all kills) of The Tomb of Terror. Three people enabled us to do two double telefrags at the lava and so save eighty-nine seconds on the SP time to get 6:41.
We then did the much more difficult Nightmare 100%, but only managed to get 8:05 before we ran out of time. It's still eighty-seven seconds faster than the SP time so it'll do for now.
But MCing is all about laggy marathons, so we did the Easy 100% of The Realm of Black Magic in 8:40. A good start.

If you want to try and join in the insanity there seem to be quite a few people up for trying in #qdq. Anybody with a fast, fast, FAST net connection is especially welcome. ;-)

That's all the demos for this update. However, due to trauma, interuptions, work and, errr, MCing, this has taken nearly two days to finish so there are already a whole stack of demos waiting to be updated. Please be patient, they'll be posted later today or tomorrow. In the mean time there's enough demos here to keep even the most cynical of you amused for several hours.

Enjoy!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] Errr, maybe not that last one.

Boys and girls, it's my honour to announce three (that's 3 for you dyslexics out there) new maps. We've decided to add maps in three different categories: small, medium and large (which actually also applies to the penissizes of the sda crew, I'll let you figure out which size goes with which sda personality - Nolan isn't in this as we all know his penis is gargantuan in size) The maps have gone through thorough testing by the sda crew (Stubby even slept with the maps - don't ask me how he did that. Morfans and family, i.e. his wife and his donkey, went on a camping holiday on the maps and I have put the maps through every scientific test you can think of). Now let's cut the gibberish and let you at the maps.

Small (read: optimizable): Symbiotic Pipe Dream. Shambler has done the easy run in 0:11. Will anyone beat Joe and Valeriy in the race to optimize this level?
Medium (read: smallish): Secret Civilization. The map is clearly inspired by e1m1, e1m2 and e1m5 which is obvious but fun.
Large (read: huge): For my babies 8. Don't be discouraged by the size of the map, it's definately runnable or we wouldn't add it. I expect to see Mr Marathon (Tim) step up and do the 100% runs, will anyone have the guts to give him a challenge?

Name your demos spd_xxx.dz, civ_xxx.dz and fmb8_xxx.dz respectively.

I expect to see some cool demos from you guys out there in the near future.

The war for the Easy 100% (all zombies fisted into gibbage) of The Tomb of Terror is, I think, finally over. After heroically taking the record from Thomas last week, I went on to improve my time by another twelve seconds to 9:39.

Well pleased with myself, I sat back and waited for Thomas "Telefrag" Stubgaard to respond. I didn't have to wait long before he taught me a lesson in Quake playing with this 8:10, eighty-nine seconds faster than me and a staggering one thousand and seventeen seconds faster than Nolan's original demo. Frankly, though, it's still a little slow at the lift. :-)

Not content with just Easy skill, he went on use the same new tricks to improve his Nightmare 100% (total slaughter) record by two hundred and two seconds to 9:32.

Daniel Andersson has shown just how much better he has got over the last year by destroying two of his old records on czg01.

The Nightmare Run didn't stand a chance, with a very nice seven second improvement to 1:46.
And the Easy 100% fell by fourteen seconds to 2:55. Presumably he did this during one of his rare sober moments. ;-)

Only one demo this time on thecrypt, but it's a good one. Jozsef Szalontai has taken another second off his Easy 100% using the very dodgy "grenade boost off the ogre, twist round the corner and try not to fall in the lava" manoeuvre to get 0:48.

Weixing Ye has decided to go for total ownage of fc_coag. Already having both 100%s and the Nightmare Run, all that he had to do was take the Easy Run from Joe. A daunting task, you might think, but a new route, using the shaft instead of the nailgun, allowed him to do it in fine style by four seconds, getting 0:41.

And that's it!! No more demos have arrived in the last week! Although this time of year is always a bit quiet for SP demos this is just too quiet, so keep watching for some new maps and IRC running contests coming very soon.

Oh well, back to work...

All demos download is available here (UK, once I get home tonight) and here (Denmark).

Yes indeed. Please all join me in wishing a very happy 26th birthday to that big Danish bastard Thomas Stubgaard. And as a special present for him I have totally owned his recent Easy 100% (all kills) of The Tomb of Terror by 46 seconds by using some new zombie tempting positions. This 9:51 is my first ever Id SP record. Which means I FUCKING RULE!!. Hey, Ken where's your Id record? Oh, you don't have one do you. How about you Pretty Balls, where's your Id record? You don't have one either! BUT I DO!!!

*ahem*

Sorry about that. I'm calm again now. It was the perfect record for me to go for while I'm unwell as there are short bursts of action followed by a nice rest. To be honest, it isn't a very good demo anyway. Using these new route tweaks Stubbz will probably improve it by a minute. :-)

Moving on to thecrypt...

Jozsef Szalontai took a one second bite out of Timo's Easy run to get 0:41.
Timo replied by taking one second off of Arturo's Nightmare Run. 0:43.
And then Joe also took the Easy 100% from Stubbz by two seconds with this 0:49. An Easy 100% war between these two would be really interesting. :-)

SDA's newest rising star Weixing Ye still hasn't finished with the 100% demos on dilcoa, making a slight change to his kill order and getting a little lucky with monster grouping has allowed him to get...

0:56 for the Easy 100%, an eight second improvement.
But even faster than that is this eleven second improvement to his Nightmare 100% to 0:54.

We'll finish off with a MUST DOWNLOAD from Mr Jozsef "MUST DOWNLOAD" Szalontai, who has taken the Easy Run of phallusy from Sergi by one second to 0:29, giving him total level ownage in the process. Can this guy spawn jump??

That's all for now. I'm going to have a rest. Enjoy the demos!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Boy, am I glad to be back. Really, I mean it. Let me explain very briefly...

We set out for Scotland on Wednesday night. By Saturday I was almost dead. I have picked up a lung infection somehow and can hardly breathe. So the doctor has put me on a course of Amoxicillin and Prednisolone, basically antibiotics and steroids. All that is bad enough, but now that I've read the leaflet that comes with the drugs (that I have been taking for several days now) I'm absolutely terrified!! Here are the last two (out of seven!!) paragraphs under the heading "Side Effects" (all emphasis is mine)...

Other side effects include: hepititis, inflamation of the liver with jaundice, a serious skin condition (erythema multiforme). Poisoning of the skin leading to death of the skin, flaking of the skin, inflamation of blood vessels and convulsions.

It then goes on to say (seriously, I'm not making this up)...

Should these side effects prove troublesome consult your doctor.

Troublesome?? Death of the fucking skin!! If you can think of anything more "troublesome" than that I would love to hear it!

Anyway, the upshot is that I'm much better but confined to bed for a couple more days, so send in some demos! I'm going out of my mind with boredom and want to watch some Quake!

To show you all the way here's...

Arturo Garcia Laska improving Timo's Nightmare Run of thecrypt first by two seconds to 0:45 and then by another second to 0:44.
Da Mighty Stubbz further improving his Easy 100% of the same map by two more seconds to 0:51.
And finally we have me tablefilling the Nightmare 100% of sgodrun2 in 5:39.

Still, the good news is that we put in an offer on a house while we were up there, so in a few months I might just be moving to the Highlands of Scotland. The only thing that could stop us is that if I can't get a broadband internet connection then I'm not going. And seeing as one of the people I spoke to up there hadn't even heard of electricity it doesn't look too promising. :-)

Before I go I haven't had a chance to say a personal "welcome to the team" to my main bitch Bergie. Damn good to have you here, you big Swedish hunk of love. :-)

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Bergendorff's statement from the previous update, about not allowing demos recorded with visible triggers, started a heated discussion on the IRC channel. Everybody knows that we've allowed demos done with visible triggers from time to time in the past, but that's only because we're such nice people here at SDA (even though some people think the opposite). And to make things more complicated, it's not stated anywhere in the rules that you can't submit demos with visible triggers, and that's entirely our fault, either we've been too lazy, but the most likely reason is that we simply just forgot to do it (we will add it to the rules page as soon as possible). So from now on we won't accept demos done with visible triggers! Triggers are for sissies anyways, not to mention how fucking ugly they look... :-)

Three new demos on thecrypt:

Timo Nieminen made up for the lost Easy Run from yesterday, and improved Jonny's demo by 1 second to get 0:42. NOTE: This will be the last demo we accept with visible triggers!
I was a little unhappy about my Easy 100%, so I decided to shave off another second to get 0:53. Damn, those two Scrags in the beginning fucked everything up constantly!
And Daniel Magnusson wasn't happy about his Nightmare 100% either, so he had another go at it. He improved his previous demo by 5 seconds to get 1:17.

Two demos on dilcoa from Weixing Ye:

He improved his Easy 100% by 6 seconds to get 1:04.
And he had a crack at the Nightmare 100% as well, almost equalling his Easy 100%. 1:05.

And as the final demo we have a coop from the Udders on zippie_sda:

Jonny Andersson and Daniel Andersson did the Easy Run in 0:05. (0:09)

All demos are available here (Denmark)

And remember, NO DEMOS WITH VISIBLE TRIGGERS! Capiche!!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to inform you that you only have 4 more days left to submit your ROTW demos.

The irc speedrunning contest is over! The map was The UnderHalls (aka thecrypt.bsp). The competition was fierce but as the dust settled after one hour and 45 minutes (we extended the timelimit since it was so much fun) we had four winners, one for each category:

Prettyballs did the easy run in 0:43.
Timo Nieminen just lost out to PB on the easy run but got the nightmare run in 0:47 (Shambler had previously laid his fat sausagelike...finger...on the nightmare run, 0:58)
Our own wankmaster Stubby finally understood the fun of running custom maps and got the easy 100% in 0:54, just 7 seconds slower than Timos nightmare run.
Daniel "Ta kådden" Magnusson just had to join the fun and got stuck a lot in his nightmare 100%: 1:22.

The map will be added to sda (as of this update) and you can start improving the times (I know for a fact that a few of these times have already been improved by contestants), they are definitely improvable. I hope everyone who participated had a good time, I know I certainly had fun watching peoples reactions when some runner came with a better time. We will definitely do this type of contest in the future. The next time I hope more runners will participate (apparently Morfys PR tour to Rumania didn't work out as we had hoped, but he's bought himself a pricewinning donkey! Good on ya Morfy, I just hope your wife won't be pissed off at your late evening visits to the donkey shack of love)

Oh yeah, one final point: as I think everyone knows you can't submit demos with visible triggers. Timo apparently didn't know that which makes him the jackass of the week :)
His 0:47 nightmare run has visible triggers..and timo, if you're reading this...you better redo that improvement of yours if you want us do add it to sda:)

All demos are available in a small .dz (including an egg demo by Will) here (Vikingland).

I suppose I should start with introducing myself. I'm Thomas Bergendorff and [insert two lines of boring information here]. As I'm sure you've noticed (if you haven't, well shame on you) sda has an IRC channel on Quakenet, and I'm the admin (you know, they guy who sooner or later will abuse his power and start kicking people, so be nice).

Let's leave all that and get down to business. Since the IRC channel seems to be very successful we thought it'd be a great idea to use that forum to have a contest. On Sunday the 14th we will have a speedrunning contest on irc. Now you're probably wondering what that means? (Will, don't get too confused now, just read the rest, mmkay?). 5:00 PM (CET, which would be 11:00 AM EST, 4:00 PM GMT) on Sunday we will announce a map and you'll all have until 6:15 PM to run it. The fastest time for each type of run will be posted in the next update. No, you won't be getting any championship points for this, but we're hoping that the excitement of a new map and the company of your fellow speedrunners will be enough to compel you to join us on Sunday. We're hoping for a crowd as big as 200 (seriously! Morfy has spent a few days in Romania doing a hardcore PR tour. Either that or he just went there to buy a donkey). On a more serious note we're hoping that you guys will use IRC to talk about routes and tricks in the chase for the fastest run.

Creds for the idea goes to Fern and Will who were the true pioneers late one night and gave us the idea. You're lucky it wasn't Amrik and Ken cause then the title of this update would have been "IRC Catfight!" (it's a joke so don't get all spastic on me). Many thanks to Stubby, Morfans and Nolan who asked me to be on the team. Extra thanks go out to Stubby who promised to not shaft me with his mighty viking weapon for the first few weeks.

Bastard Windows, bastard Word and bastard Outlook. You'd think that three M$ products could manage to run together happily, wouldn't you? Well, I tried to open a Word document from Outlook and Windows hung like a fucking donkey. Bye bye two hours of update.

Oh well, I think I can remember most of it...

Timo Nieminen continues to produce the goods. This time he has taken back the Easy 100% of The Tower of Despair from Martin by one second. Slick, syrupy and slightly crunchy in the middle. 1:04. MUST DOWNLOAD.

After all the various crowing on the Message Board and on #qdq Martin Selinus decided to further ruin his damaged hands by taking the only Id Easy Run Marathon that he doesn't already own. So he improved Sergi's Dimension of the Doomed Easy Run by three seconds to get the phenomenal time of 2:28. Quite simply this is a MUST DOWNLOAD.

As if those two demos weren't cause enough, we have a third reason to celebrate here at SDA. More than a year after it was added to the tables, someone has finally filled the czg02 Nightmare Run gap. I know that many people have tried to complete this run, to a greater or lesser extent, but the honour goes to the man we all know as Pflug Daddy (as he liked to be called while he was sticking da bone to that Lopez chick. Now of course he likes to be known as N-Diddy. Or am I thinking of someone else?). This 5:35 is a MUST DOWNLOAD simply for the novelty value of a Run that's longer than 95% of the Nightmare 100% demos on the archive and longer than seven out of the eight Id episode Run Marathons.

Plenty of demos still coming in on the DaZ maps, starting with dazsp2.

Weixing Ye has stolen the Easy 100% from Kimmo by one second to 0:47.
Amrik Kochhar decided to join in with the Kimmo bashing by improving the Nightmare Run by one second to equal the Easy Run time of 0:27.
Which only left Weixing to improve his own Nightmare 100% time by two more seconds to 0:50.

There's been some fast zombie killing and table filling on dazsp2b.

Amrik tackled the shambler intensive Nightmare Run and reached the exit in 1:15 with two health left. Although if he had managed to open the gold key door the first time he tried he would have had plenty of health. :-)
OpenGL cleared both 100%s, first the Easy in 2:14 and then did a slightly confused (how many times do you need to get the gold key?) Nightmare 100% in 2:38.

What's got a shambler, two fiends, two deathknights, three vores, a bunch of scrags, no armour, no weapons and no shells? It can only be dazsp2c. Sounds to me like a perfect map for Nolan.

Running around swinging his axe and trying not to get hit too often seemed to work quite well for the Nightmare 100%. Well enough to get a 2:12, anyway.
Then he taught me a lesson in monster in-fighting by beating my Easy 100% by fourteen seconds to 1:25.

It has been said that playing on your own map is only slightly different to wanking out of an open window into a busy street, but since David Hocking is Australian this is normal behaviour. He beat Basil's Easy 100% of spring2 by three seconds to get 0:30. Very nice.

Dan Stukanev continues to improve the Nightmare Run on the map that sounds like it should be an evil Welshman's fortress, ih1m4. Smooth moves and plenty-o-nails gave him 0:34, two seconds faster.

Here's a demo I should have mentioned some weeks ago but forgot about. Jozsef Szalontai improved Martin's Easy Run of guard by one second to get 0:22. Sorry, Joe. :-)

To finish we have a little coop action from Daniel Hansson and Daniel Andersson. Both demos follow a similar theme: Daniel gives Daniel a big boost and then Daniel charges to the exit as fast as he can.

First they destroyed Evan and Nolan's Easy Run of czg07b by four seconds to 0:32.
Then a huge rocket boost gave them a 0:24 on czg07c, two seconds faster than fellow Udders Carl and Johan. This demo nearly didn't happen as DH's hard disk was full so their first demo didn't record, or at least I think that's what that heathen foreign lingo in their .txt says. :-)

That's all from me for now, stay tuned to SDA as we may have a little suprise for you all very soon...

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

We'll start off with today's quick update with Timo Nieminen. For those of you that were impressed with his recent Easy 100% Marathon of The Elder World, prepare to be amazed. He his already trimmed another forty-one seconds off of his previous time to give him 14:00. Staggeringly consistent play from the master of, well, staggeringly consistent play. MUST DOWNLOAD.

Just the one demo on sgodrun2 this time. Arturo Garcia Lasca improved Brent's Long Way Easy Run by eight seconds to 1:36 using the same route but running it a little faster.

Prepare to be DaZzled by some damned daring demos on der demonically difficult[1] dazsp2.

Weixing Ye opened the batting for the Nightmarre Run with this 0:29.
But Kimmo Polvivaara soon improved that to 0:28.
Kimmo also improved Brent's Easy 100% by five seconds to 0:48. Looks to me like someone is going for total map ownage. :-)
But to get it he will have to deal with Weixing, who currently has 0:52 for the Nightmare 100%.

dazsp2b has had it's first demo's sent in.

The IRC schizophrenic, Amrik Kochhar, has led the way with a scrappy Easy Run in 1:13. He then fell in to the normal Amrik "improve it by five seconds" cycle and did a 1:08, soon followed my a much better and cleaner looking 1:03.
But Kimmo found a killer looooong bunny which gave him 1:00.

Finally, Amrik has made a start on the daz marathons, tackling the Easy Run in 1:56, then quickly improving that to 1:46.

Thank you to everyone that tried to guess the runners in the title of the last update. Some people had trouble spotting the first name in the list, Nolan I had to disqualify for sending over ICQ and not e-mail, Tim's entry was just bizarre (...and stubby refers to *name deleted* because he's such a short bastard...) but the first mail to correctly state "This just in (Justin Fleck) : Fern (Fern) will (Will Marsh) morph (Richard Skidmore) Timo (Timo Nieminen) into Tim's (Tim Doherty) stubby (Thomas Stubgaard)" was from Mathhias Belz, who has now earned himself two pints when I next see him. :-)

And to finish with I'd like to draw your attention to the links page where we have just added Tim's Marathons For Regular Joes, or M4RJ, site. I'm sure everyone in the world already knows about tis site because he's been pimping it pretty hard recently, but if you're one of those people that say "I'd love to submit some demos but I'm not good enough to beat the times" then this could be the site for you.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] I know, they aren't particularly difficult, but "easy" doesn't start with a "D". :-)